As I’ve been here for two weeks and spending hours in sessions each day, I’ve realized my faiths not good enough. I look around and see people so clearly in love with God and free with how they show it. People on their knees in a place I’ve never reached during worship, dancing around proclaiming Jesus’ name, praying non stop over the smallest and biggest things, knowing and reciting scripture, and so much more.
My initial thought was oh I don’t belong here because I’m not at that level in my faith. I was frustrated because I gave my life to God years ago, but somehow I still couldn’t join in the praise. But then that frustration turned into excitement. I was so inspired, not to be like others, but to have my own deep relationship with God.
Instead of thinking my faith isn’t good enough compared to those around me, I changed my perspective and God revealed to me that my faith isn’t good enough because it never will be. There is no end to knowing God. He is so extremely vast in all ways that we will never be able to understand him entirely. We weren’t created to because that would make us equal with Him, which we are so far from. God is so much bigger and complex than realized.
I picture it like I’m in the ocean. I know that the ocean is deep and vast, but when I’m swimming at sea level, I don’t really get to see how deep. The further down you go, you see there is so much more than what is visible at surface level. The same goes with my relationship with God. The deeper I dive in, the more beautiful and one of a kind everything is. I am so ready to get far below “surface level.”
The best part is that I will never be done getting to learn and grow with God. There is always more to explore. I love playing volleyball and being active and doing these things fills me with so much joy. But I can’t do those forever. The only thing we can do forever is love and know God. Spending time with Him is becoming my favorite hobby and to know there is no end to that is so refreshing and honestly motivating. As my relationship builds, I can’t wait for the Holy Spirit to show me my way of worshipping and praising God which may look completely different from those around me. I’ve never craved God so much.
How cool is that, we will never run out of things to learn about our God and our faiths will never be good enough. There’s always room for growth and to dive deeper.
How cool is that McKenna! We will never run out of things to learn and know about God. We will always be able to dive deeper in faith! And yes, you are right, we are not called to be just like others, just to keep growing in our relationship with God. Excited for all the growth and moments with God that you will experience this year. – Susan
Wow McKenna! I love that analogy of the ocean, and so happy you are enjoying your time so far!
What a great message! Love it!
Mckenna, loved your blog. May it inspire others to dive deeper into their relationship with God. The world always tries to make us feel like we are not good enough or have enough and frankly without Jesus we aren’t! He is the one who makes us clean and makes us whole, for in Him we live and move and have our being. Love you continue to dive!
Mckenna, loved your blog. May it inspire others to dive deeper into their relationship with God. The world always tries to make us feel like we are not good enough or have enough and frankly without Jesus we aren’t! He is the one who makes us clean and makes us whole, for in Him we live and move and have our being. Love you continue to dive!